Old 13-April-2005, 10:26
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Default An old chestnut

Here's some "graveyard" humour from a retired Detective Inspector Carol Bristow.......

I don't want it read out of context and so here's a bit of background first.

Carol's autobiography "Central 822" gives a very vivid picture of the career of a woman in the police force from the time when women were not generally given the opportunities available to men. The terrible stress on women such a Carol regularly having to deal with violent crimes of rape is explained together with the mental and physical effects on the victims. I shared Carol's dismay about the lenient sentences handed out to some of those who had caused such immense distress.

Unlike today there is no counselling for the Police who had to share the ordeal of these victims. I understood how Carol became addicted to alcohol and admired her confession of not being able to make relationships with men.

So glad she was able to get the support of Alcholics Anonymous.

One of my favourites involved the case of a rape victim who was finding it difficult telling the jury what had happened to her. She whispered most of her evidence and, peering at her over his half-spectacles, the judge asked her if it would help if she could write down on a piece of paper what it was that the defendant was alleged to have said to her.

'Yes, my Lord, it would.' she replied, and duly wrote down the words 'I want to f***k you' on a scrap of paper handed to her by the court clerk.

Inspecting it first himself, the judge instructed that the piece of paper be handed around the members of the jury, so that they might know what was said. One by one, the jurors opened the folded piece of paper, read it and handed it on to the juror sitting next them. Sitting, in the back row, right at the end, was a man who had been asleep during much of the afternoon's proceedings.

Awoken with a nudge by the woman juror sitting next to him, he took the piece of paper she now hand him and unfolded it. Reading the words quietly to himself, he smiled, winked at the woman, refolded the piece of paper and placed it in his top pocket, unaware that the entire court was watching him.

'Young man.' the judge called out. The man looked horrified when he realized the judge was addressing him. 'Kindly pass that piece of paper you were just handed to the usher.'

The man reddened and got to his feet. 'I'm afraid I can't do that,' he replied, after clearing his throat. 'It's personal, it's between me and the lady sitting next to me.'

It took the judge several minutes and some heavy banging on his gavel to silence the squeals of laughter in the court.

Last edited by Worldlife; 13-April-2005 at 13:21.
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Old 13-April-2005, 11:22
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Default Re: An old chestnut

yes ive heard it before, still very good though.
i feel very sorry for peeps like carol, the job is hard enough without seeing scum get off or get a very light sentence.
i speak to policemen fairly frequently, time and time again, the feeling is that why do we bother?
they know who the scum are. why cant the courts see it?
remember the car thief who was convicted last month? the crime in that area dropped by a full 10% when he was taken out of circulation.
the police know full well who the scum are in any given area. if the courts worked with the police, they could reduce crime by possibly 80% in some areas by taking out the 10 most wanted scum. and they need to be put away for a long time.
career criminals have no place in a free/peaceful society.
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