Christmas on a Catalogue

[Worldlife]

From a colleague at Mrs W/L's office:-



Christmas on a Catalogue

No laughing matter, it ain’t a joke,
Somehow it seems you're always broke,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

Even in the sales, your credit card fails,
Feel’s like you’re going off the rails,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

You start work at the crack of dawn,
But you still find that you’re overdrawn,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

The bailiff's banging at your door,
But you can’t pay them anymore,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

The kid’s want that, the kid’s want this,
A lottery win would be real bliss,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

Buy it now and pay in May,
But you're still paying through the nose anyway,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

Order your gifts on the telephone line,
And hope that they will arrive in time,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

Look out for the buy one get one free,
Catalogue shopping for the whole family,
So it’s Christmas on a catalogue.

By Ricky Cairns

[squidgy]

I like that, thanks for posting it.

I've just had a big herbally induced tidy-up of my flat, and have finally got around to throwing away those unwanted christmas presents from two years ago. I didn't throw them away earlier because I didn't want to offend the person who got them for me, in case they phone up and say "Did you like the present I got you?" and I don't know how to answer. But I recently realised, I have a big stack of presents people have given me, and I have absolutely no idea who gave them to me. So - straight in the bin. I could re-cycle them this Christmas, I suppose - but I'm not that organised.

There's a neighbour of mine, though, and he says that this Christmas, he's going to go to a local church at some point, and stay there to say a silent prayer for half an hour for each of his friends and relatives. And that's going to be his Christmas present to everyone. Then he'll go home.

When he said that, at first I thought, are you taking the mick? It's not as though he's a particularly religious person. Mind you, maybe that's me making the assumption that all Christians are prudes, and jumping to the conclusion that anyone you have ever shared a spliff with, therefore, can't possibly be a Christian, and therefore also doesn't really give a monkeys about anything to do with Christmas apart from the consumer side of it.

But then I thought again. How has Christmas become so consumerist? I'm sure that going to church and saying prayers for people is much more what Christmas is about than (1) inflicting clutter on your friends and family by way of "presents" they feel they ought to be grateful for, (2) inflicting weight, alcohol and other health problems on your friends and family by way of big communal peer-pressured binge-outs politely referred to as the "Christmas dinner", (3) inflicting currency devaluation on everyone else by way of crazy spending, and (4) getting yourself in lots of debt in the process.

Of course, a pedant might point out that Christmas has actually developed from the Saturnalia festival, and therefore has absolutely naff all to do with the birth of "Jesus" anyway. But I think my point still stands.

Thoughts?

[Steed]

I think that Christmas can be whatever you want it to be, because of it's long history of being adapted from one festival to another.

Your points are all valid, but you have the ability to modify your own Christmas. For instance suggest to people little things that you may want or ask them not to buy for you but give a few pounds to your favourite charity. This may not stop the well meant pair of socks, but any gifts that are not quite your thing will be gratefully accepted at a charity shop in the new year.

These are only some options, but the point is you can take control and at least make your personal Christmas mean more to yourself.

So, in answer to your question.

Yes Squidgy, there is a Santa Claus

It's You

:ding:

[squidgy]

That's a really nice idea - thanks. Can't pretend I'm not getting cravings for chris puddings and mince pies and brandy butter, though. Those M&S one person puddings that you can do in the microwave in 30 seconds, I tried one a few days ago, and I think they're really really yum. I'm going to stock up on them, so that if I have any guests looking for food, that's what I'll give them. What could be better?